Faith – complete trust or confidence in someone or something
And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who see him. Hebrews 11:6
This word, concept, and a pillar of my belief system has been brought to my attention time and time again over the last 6 to 9 months. Sometimes I feel like I grasp what it means to have faith, and then there are times I don’t understand it at all.
Do I have complete trust in God?
I’d love to say yes, but in reality my actions definitely speak louder than my words. For example I feel called to go on a global adventure this fall, but I have’t even renewed my passport.
Why? I have no idea.
Or I have been presented with a job opportunity and I did what God called me to do. I applied. I stepped out in faith, but now that I am in a waiting period I am doubting what I know God called me to do.
Why? I’d like to say I have no idea, but it’s truly lack of faith.
I’m like the disciples in Matthew 8 when they see a Centurion (a gentile) come to Jesus asking him to heal his servant. He didn’t want him to come to his house, but to just speak the words. The man had INSANE faith that Jesus could speak the words and the man would be healed. AND HE WAS!
The disciples saw this transpire, and Jesus even said to them that he had never seen faith like this, even in Israel. (You know, the nation God time and time again took care of.) After this they see three or four more miracles, and then they load up in the boat.
Well, a storm comes.
(I’ll give the disciples credit here at least they were freaking out over a dangerous storm. I freak out when God has me wait a few months. )
Anyway, so the storm. Water is coming into their boat. So they rush to Jesus all terrified saying, “help us we are going to die!” Jesus gets up and says, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he calms the sea. This next part cracks me up, makes me sad, and convicts the heck out of me.
And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” Matthew 8: 27
Hello? Did you not just see all the crazy awesome things Jesus just did? He heals the sick, demon possessed, the blind, and your blown away, and wonder who he is when he calms the sea!
Oh, but aren’t I one of little faith? In the last two years God has restored my marriage, I’ve experienced two lives being brought into the world, relationships have been healed, I have been shown grace over grace, I have read/heard of countless accounts of other believers all over the world seeing God doing MIRACULOUS things. Yet I still doubt.
I still marvel when God has been so faithful to me.
So here I am daily dying to self, seeking God’s face, and attempting to have faith, because I truly want to please the one who created me.