What, I still blog? Yes, I do.
I would like to start off today’s post by giving you some insight into why I haven’t posted. I started this with the intention of speaking my mind and just being me without seeking God. Well apparently God had other plans for my blog. This blog has gotten so much bigger than me that it has taken me 2 weeks and some soul searching to realize that I can actually do it.
I want my readers to enjoy the content but I also want it to be sound, good and Biblical advise. So this blog is literally causing me to grow up in my faith and it is scary. No matter how scary, I pray that you will grow with me as we seek God in every facet of our lives. One of those facets is sex and through God we can achieve greatness.
This past weekend I went to a marriage seminar called The Art of Love and Intimacy (which from now on I will call T.A.L.I.) featuring speaker Dr. Pat Love (http://patlove.wordpress.com/). It is so cliche to say but it has changed my marriage. After Saturday night my husband and I had a talk and life has been different.
A bonus from that seminar is the information and ideas I can use here on my blog.
I also want to remind my single readers that it is o.k. to pick up information like this as long as you are seeking God. Before I was married I might as well had interviewed married women asking them questions about sex and their relationship with their husbands. I didn’t want to walk into marriage blindly.
One thing I have learned recently, which I have a hard time grasping, is that sex is different in every relationship. You may say well duh, but if you look at how our society puts it out there maybe you can see how I was confused.
Sex isn’t just something you do in a passionate moment. It is literally a way to show your spouse how much you love them. Through talking to my friends and listening at T.AL.I. I realized that some couples can show that love through other things in life. By doing this they may have less sex or at least sex isn’t the at the forefront of their affection.
Dr. Pat Love explains it like this. Some people are a sexy brain person(psychogenic) and others are sexy body(autogenic). This means that the people that are sexy brain literally have to think about and be stimulated with things of the mind. Where as sexy body people are ready to go if they are breathing. It is COMPLETELY o.k. to be either one.
SIDE NOTE: I love that. It is o.k. to be yourself. So many times I get criticized for things I do or say. Well that is who I am and as long as I am following what God is leading me to do then it is o.k. Let that play over and over in your head; IT IS O.K. TO BE YOURSELF. My husband told me about a month ago the sexiest thing I can do is be myself. He said that is who he fell in love with.
So single folks, be yourself NOW. It will make your life better later.
Back to sexy brain vs. sexy body; if you are a couple of the same well of course that makes things easy but most couples aren’t. The majority of women are sexy brain and the majority of men are sexy body. This is all according to studies that Dr. Pat Love presented at T.A.L.I. So how do we bridge that gap? The men have to be more attuned to seeking the woman on a more mentally simulating level, where as, the women have to say yes. Dr. Pat Love gave this advice, if one of you wants to have sex then it is YES.
Ladies, imagine every time you want to talk you don’t know whether he will accept or reject you. Well that is what happens to him with sex.
Now, if you are both rejecting each other in the areas that are extremely important to you, then you need to sit down and hash out the problems. That can happen at home or with a counselor.
NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR MARRIAGE.
BTW, this is all on the majority. Some of you ladies may be ready to go 24/7 and you men may need a little talking to get you started, but whatever works for you talk to your spouse about what they can do.
I have so much more information I am excited to share with you, but I will bring it to you in chunks. Today I will leave you with ways to get to the bed whether you are a sexy brain person or sexy body.
Sexy body people, these are ways you will enjoy your sex life: A Quickie, Making Love, Romantic Love (make an date and romance your spouse), Adventuresome Sex (anything that is different from what you normally do). These are ideas from Dr. Pat Love that can jump start you in the right direction for mind blowing sex.
Now for sexy brain. Here are some ideas to help you have fun in bed: Make time for sex (you have to be proactive), YOU have to know what puts you in the mood (get to know yourself), Decide what kind of partner YOU want to be, Be willing to invest to make it happen (if you aren’t committed it won’t happen)
I hope this helps in some way to spark something for the other 364 days of the year; that last night wasn’t the only time you and your spouse were romantic with each other.
Now GO be YOURSELF!